The Logistics of a Quick Trip

Growing up I always marveled at the courage of parents who had large families (and when I was 12, large was 4 or 5 kids). To be truly honest, it was like a train wreck you couldn't help but stop and watch, when you saw kid after kid after kid getting out of a car or following one another in the grocery store while the Mother screamed "don't touch that...put that down...no, we don't need a 5lb package of M&Ms". Basic questions always flashed through my head, like "I wonder how many gallons of milk they buy from the store a week?" or "how do they afford shoes for everyone?"...

Flash forward 20 years (OK for those of you keeping count, the real number is 23 years), and now I find myself as one of those crazy people with kid after kid after kid (after kid) unloading from the car, being shuffled into the grocery store as I scream "don't touch that...put that down...no, we don't need a 5lb package of M&Ms, the 1lb pack is enough!" But even only after 5 weeks, I'm happy to say that we have our system down pretty well and trips to WalMart, Target, and the grocery store are pretty easy. Just like packing a trunk for a big car trip, there is a science to getting four kids into a car to go somewhere.

Step 1: 1:30pm (I'm not suicidal, so I usually reserve these trips for after naps and lunch) Yell at everyone to get their shoes on because we are going somewhere. Answer 20 questions about where we are going, why we need to go there, what we are going to get, and if we are going to be back by 2 because Zach and Cody is showing on Disney Channel. Marvel at the fact that the 1 year old is the only one with her shoes on, besides me. OK, they aren't on yet, but at least she's holding them up in the air towards me while making a grunting sound.

Step 2: 1:35pm Mix a bottle for Elizabeth, put it in the side of the bag. Make sure I have diapers and wipes, and a few snacks for Kate. Get a sippy cup for Kate and put milk in it. Try to put it in the bag before Kate sees it. Too late, give Kate the bottle. Yell again for everyone to put their shoes on.

Step 3: 1:40 Put Kate's shoes on. Try to help Sarah find her shoe that Kate has left somewhere in the house after putting it on her hand and crawling around with it. Try to explain to Ashley although while cute, the two inch Cinderella platform heels she has on probably aren't the best choice to be walking around the grocery store with.

Step 4: 1:45 Notice that Kate's diaper is a little thick, decide to change her. Decide to make it an assembly line and run Elizabeth through since I had everything out anyway. Put Elizabeth into her seat, thinking we are about 5 minutes away from leaving. Go out to car to put diaper bag in, notice that Kate's bottle is not there after having given it to her earlier. Go back inside to look for bottle. Can't find it.

Step 5 1:50 Enlist everyone's help to find Kate's bottle. Look under couches, ottoman, tables, but it is nowhere to be found. After 5 mins of looking, decide it's just easier to get a new bottle.

Step 6 1:57 Ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom. Get 2 shouts of yes, and observe as two otherwise intelligent kids run to the same bathroom and push, shove, yell, and cry that they were there first. Remind them that there are four bathrooms in the house, and one of them needs to go to another. Listen for a minute as they then fight about who should be the one to go, before taking action and making one leave.

Step 7 2:00 Hear oldest yell from my bedroom that there is no toilet paper in our bathroom. Tell her it's under the sink, only to have her respond "no it's not". Go to the guest bathroom to look under the sink, can't find any. Go upstairs to girl's bathroom, and take 3 rolls to put extra under my sink for future use. Go downstairs to give roll to Sarah, open up sink cabinet to put extra rolls in and see 4 rolls stacked up. Remind myself she is only 7...

Step 8 2:05 Go out to garage and open garage door. Start the car so that it can cool off a bit before we get in (seeing that the wonderful Texas temp that morning was holding at 99). Go back inside to get Kate, tell Sarah and Ashley to turn off the TV so we can go. As I am buckling Kate in, try to explain to Sarah that no, I have not forgotten Elizabeth. I will go get her and bring her out when I have Kate strapped in.

Step 9 2:13 Finally on our way to the supermarket. Spend the 3 minute car trip running through my head how I am going to handle the logistics of unloading everyone once we get there. Realize when I park that I forgot my grocery list. Decide that pizza for dinner would have been a better option...

I now realize I have the answers to my questions. How do they afford shoes for everyone? Easy, everbody only had one pair. That way it was much easier to keep track of them. And how many gallons of milk did they buy a week? None. It was much easier to have a cow grazing in the backyard they could milk as needed. That way, not only did they not have to mow the yard, they never had to make a "quick trip" to the grocery store for milk.